On "Success"
This was originally posted as a twitter thread.
There’s a thing going around twitter where New York Times bestselling authors talk about how their success was not overnight. It’s true, success is not overnight! But here’s a variation for you:
I sent my first query in 2007.
Got an agent in 2007.
Sold my first book in 2008.
Quit my day job in 2008.
Got married in 2009 to my wife who supports me financially.
First book published in 2009.
Sixth book published in 2021.
I’ve never hit the NYT Bestseller list.
Why have I never hit the NYT list? Some theories:
Maybe I didn’t write a commercial bestseller
My publishers have never given my books the promotional support that’s usually required to hit the NYT list
But wait, these things are intertwined and are more complicated.
What makes a commercial bestseller? Until very recently, it was very rare for them to include people of color (POC) or queer characters. All of my books have included queer characters and most have POC.
When Ash was published in 2009, it got one starred review as well as one that criticized it for not including any positive male role models. The publisher pushed it hard, but although it was a finalist for many awards, it didn’t win any.
Later I learned that some committee members dinged it because it didn’t have a coming out story. Ash is a lesbian retelling of Cinderella, but being queer in her world is normal, so she doesn’t need to come out. Some people thought it was unrealistic. Note: It’s a fantasy novel.
My most recent book, Last Night at the Telegraph Club, has done better out of the gate than any of my other novels, including Ash. LNatTC has received 7 starred reviews (!!) and hit the Indie Bestsellers list for two weeks in a row! (Not the NYT though.)
This has made me very happy, but I’m under no illusions. This book would not have been a success at any time in the past 14 years of my career. First, I wouldn’t have had the skills to write this book until now. It was hard.
But also, LNatTC is about a queer Chinese American girl. This is not a type that’s generally found in bestsellers. And the book has queer sex in it. It doesn’t fade to black. This probably would’ve kept it out of school libraries until very recently.
And it doesn’t shy away from its cultural roots. I mean, there is Chinese in it. Literally, 中文 in character form. Until the last couple of years, all non-English words in YA were italicized to call out their foreignness.
I’m thrilled that LNatTC has been doing so well, but I know that this success comes out of decades of fighting a system that has traditionally prevented books like it from being published. I see the changes that have happened since I started my career and I’m very heartened.
At the same time, countless authors of color and queer authors have had their work marginalized for so long — and maybe they haven’t had a spouse like mine to support them financially — so they likely gave up. We’ve lost so many talented writers to this system.
I hope LNatTC continues to be a success, but I often remind myself that success is in the eye of the beholder. Hitting the NYT list doesn’t equal success, and nor does winning an award. Many excellent books never got either of those kudos but were still deeply meaningful to readers.
I get emails from my readers all the time. They’re sometimes difficult for me to fully sit with, because they tell me about their heartbreak and how my books have pulled them through. They trust me with this intimate knowledge and that really moves me.
Of course, I would love to hit some bestseller lists and win some awards. I hope that I will someday. I know that the biggest benefit of those lists or awards will be the ability to continue to publish stories that reach those readers who haven’t had books for them, for so long.
What’s success for me? It can’t be an external thing like a list or an award, because all of that can go away in an instant. You’re only as good as your last book.
For me, success can only be an honest, internal evaluation: Have I written the best thing I could write? With Last Night at the Telegraph Club, I know the answer is yes.
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